Saturday 11 August 2012

1990 vs 2012 suhaag raat

Ladkiyo ki jab shadi hoti h to unki saheliya kya khti h

1990-gabrana mat wo jo kare karne dena:P

2012-jor se chillana taaki use lage k First time hai :D

Monday 30 April 2012

T 20

Boy: i am '20' years.
Girl: i am also '20' years...
Boy: to '20-20' match ho jaye.?
Girl: 3' din ruko
Boy: why.?
Girl: pitch gili hai..

CHAMELI bhabhi KI CHAAT LO

Chameli bhabhi ne Chaat ki dukan kholi.
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Dukan kholte hi customer ki line lag gayi,
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Kyo...?
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Board par likha tha, .
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"SIRF 10 Rs ME CHAMELI bhabhi KI CHAAT LO" :) :D :P

Saturday 14 April 2012

1 Nursry cls ka bacha bola:- mam kya meri umr ka bacha papa ban sakta h.?
Mam:- NO.
bacha apni side ki ladki se bola:- "Dekha kuch nhi hoga, faltu me darti h".

Jija Sali

Sali: Jeega ji plz mujhe 500 rupey de do mai agale hafte de dungi
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Jeeja: tum 1000 lelo magar abhi do..

Friday 13 April 2012

Pimple or Nipple

A 13 year girl at a bra shop...
Girl-show me bra
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Shop keeper-36"?
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Girl-smaller
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Shop keeper-32"?
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Girl-smaller
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Shop keeper-24"?
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Girl-smaller
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Shop keeper-20"?
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Girl-smaller
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Shop keeper(in angry)-madam u take some
cream it must b a pimple.........   

Tuesday 10 April 2012

Santa ke Bacche

Govt announced: Jinke 5 bacche hain, unhe 1 ghar denge.
Santa ke 3 the aur apne Wife se bola: Padosan ke 2 bhi mere hi hain....unko le aao. Laney par Apne 3 kahan gaye?
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Wife: Jinke the wo le gaye.

Santa Remove Condom

Santa: doc last night i had sex with a girl.. but today susu not coming..it has blocked..
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Doctor aft checking: lofar remove the condom first:-D

Santa's Condom

Santa Chemist Shop Pe Gaya Aur Bola: ?

Bhai Sahib Ek Condom Dena Mujhe Meri Girlfriend Ko Gift Dena Hai? 

Shopkeeper: ?Ispar Cover Chada Doon Kya?? 

Santa: ?Oye Nahi Gadhe Ye Hi To Cover Hai Gift To Mere Pass Hai?

TMT Sariya Daal Le Fir


Boy(During Sex) : Have I Made It Large??
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Girl : No.
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Boy : Have I Made It Large??
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Girl : No.
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Boy : Have I Made It Large??
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Girl : Nooooo.
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Boy : Teri Maa Ki, Saali Kameeni

TMT Sariya Daal Le Fir

Main Isse Bada Nahi Kar Sakta..!! :@ ;) x)

ABCD......

Lady Teacher - Bolo Bacho,

J 4 Jug

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K 4 Kite

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L 4 LUND

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Ohh.!

Sorry Bacho,

Galti Se Mu Se Nikal Gya

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Boy - Mam, Sorry Ki Kya Baat H,

Wapas Mu Me Le Lo..!! ;) x)

Monday 2 April 2012

Height of insult:

Man surfing channels asks his wife-"Darling, should I watch cricket?"
?
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Wife- "For god's sake watch porn, u already know how to play cricket!!!!"

Suhag Raat ki Aag

Suhag Raat pe dulhe ne dulhan ki ankh ko chuma
Dulhan - ye kya
Dulha - Ankh Zindgi ki kitab hai
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Dulhan - Niche library me aag lagi hae, tu kitaab me ghusa hai

Friday 30 March 2012

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.

As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her chest.

They are both startled and he says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your chest, I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your p*nis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

Friday 23 March 2012

Condom

Mummy ko beti ke room se Condom mila..

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MUMMY : " Kamini, yeh kiske paas muh kaala karvaya hai tune ?? "

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BETI : " Toh aap kya chahti hain ki main iss umar mein MAA ban jaun " !!!! ;)

Santa Suhaagrat

santa singh suhaag raat ko thand ke maare rajai me ghus ke so gaya….
BIWI: meri tango k beech ek ched hai..
santa : tabhi me kahu k hawa kaha se aa rahi hai..

Free

Shadi Ki Pehli Raat Ko Husband Apni Wife Ko 500 Rupees De Kar Bola,
Hum Ne Yeh Kaam Kabhi Free Mein Nahi Kiya

Wife 200 Rupees Wapis Karke Boli Aur Humne Kabi 300 Se Zayada Nahi Liya

‘CHALTI TRAIN MAIN CHADNA MANA HAI..

Train main wife husband se boli:’ Aaj suhagrat hai kuch karo no!’
Pati bola: abey bhen ki lodi dekhai nahin de raha samne kya likha hai?

‘CHALTI TRAIN MAIN CHADNA MANA HAI..

Sunday 18 March 2012

LIPSTIC

Child : Papa aapke pant ki chain khuli hai

Father : Sabke samne chain nahi bolte

Child : Toh phir kya bolu
...
Father : Make-up box bol :)

Child : Papa aapka make-up box khula hein aur lipstick dikh rahi hain :P :D

AGE

Ek aadmi-beta tumhari umra kya hai?
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Baccha-ji,ghar mai 14,
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school mai 12
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train mai 7
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& Facebook pe 19 saal.... :D :

Sex

New Couple Kept having sex 24x7.
They Became weak but didn't Stop..
They Consulted a Doctor..
Doc Said: Have Sex only on those dayz which have 'R' in it..
ie,ThuRsday,FRiday or SatuRday..
Couple Agreed..
On Monday HusbAnd Asks his Wife..Darling whats the Day Today?
Wife givEs a Naughty smile & says..
"somvaaR" :D :p =)).

Saturday 17 March 2012

Different type of HOOKS............There Are 2 Types Of Hook's: 1st Cricket Hook And 2nd Is Bra Hook.. First: Is Used To Send Ball Out Side Boundry.. Second: Is Used To Control Ball's Inside The Boundry..!

There Are 2 Types Of Hook's: 1st Cricket
Hook And 2nd Is Bra Hook..
First: Is Used To Send Ball Out Side Boundry..
Second: Is Used To Control Ball's Inside The
Boundry..!

Kutter Ka Bacha.....

Kutte Ka Bacha Apni Maa Se..;

Maa-Pitaji dikhne Me kaise the?

Maa rote huye-Pata Nhi Beta
Piche Se Aye The
Piche Se Hi Chale gaye....=))

Aao mere DUDDU Choos lo Deshi AAM ki Tarah

Kash Asi G.F. Mile Jo Kahe -

Udas kyon rehte ho tanha SHAM ki tarah

Udas kyon rehte ho tnha SHAM ki tarah.

Aao mere DUDDU Choos lo Deshi AAM ki Tarah

Santa

Santa ki kuttiya pregnent thi

Santa-he rabba kutta ya kutia hi ho

Banta-Isme kehne wali kya baat hai

Santa-Nahi yar kabi-kabi mai bhi maje le leta tha.

First Night

A man after the first night of his HONEYMOON got a call from friends ............... 
FRIEND : " Mate................how was ur first night >> u must have enjoyed hell bent "
MAN : " Yeah bro............First time in my life I saw a NAKED WOMAN .......................................................................... I MASTURBATED Thrice.................!!!!!!

First Time

Ek aadmi honeymoon par gaya...................
doston ne phone kiya aur pucha ..................... 
" Kya beta maze kiye honge raat ko tune " ................................................................. 
AADMI " Haan yaar............................Kal maine zindagi mein pehli baar Nangi-Pungi ladki dekhi..................3 baar muth maara ....... mazaa aa gaya !!!!

Rajni Fuck Truck

Rajnikant series: Once Rajnikant was havin sex in a truck,
wen one of his sperms escaped n got into d engine.
Dat truck is 2dy knwn as...
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OPTIMUS PRIME!!

Rajni Kant

Rajnikant went to U.S.met Pamela Anderson.got desperate & wanted to masturbate.went behind a bldg & did it for few minutes.tht bldg is now called WHITE HOUSE!!

Kassh uss din muh mein le leti

Ek ladki ko uska bachcha bahut pareshan kar raha tha........................ 
toh usne ek thandi saans bhari aur boli 
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 " kaaashh, uss din muh mein le leti " !!